Paris Hilton (Finally) Embarrasses Herself

Paris Hilton's next movie is so bad even she doesn't want to be associated with it. Karl Rove ran a great campaign for student-body president in high school. Michael Jackson's kids are polite, ate cake. Bob Costas told Mario Cuomo, others that the Yankees should trade A-Rod. Exes Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal ran into each other at Capitale, talked. Liz Smith likes Clint Eastwood's Flags of Our Fathers. A lot. Marc Ecko bought a rhinoceros. Lawyer Lynne Stewart eats healthy. Madonna, who rents her English estate out for pheasant hunts, recently imported some new birds from France. Model Tyra Banks doesn't like porn star Tyra Banxxx, who just made a new video. CBS is casting a reality show about lazy people. (But nobody bothered to show up! Rimshot!) Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey went to a party, didn't have their picture taken together. Ellen Burstyn wrote a book. U2 is moving its music-publishing biz out of Ireland, to avoid some taxes. Patrick McCarthy held a dinner for the new W, at which a photographer fell out of his chair. Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott is getting a big dinner at the Rainbow Room for being good to the environment; the Eagles will perform. Aretha Franklin is afraid of heights. "Page Six" is sorry for saying Vince Vaughn was "making out" with a chick he was actually just saying hello to. A blogger says Idaho Senator Larry Craig is gay.