Today’s Post carries two different stories about men facing sexual-harassment charges for allegedly exposing themselves to female subordinates. Without getting into the whole unwanted-advances-from-bosses issue — which, yes, we understand is the crux of the alleged harassment — we were struck by the method of seduction. Did we somehow miss the point at which dropping trou became a standard way to try to pick someone up? Confused, we turned to the only sex-and-relationship experts we know — the inimitable and irrepressible Em & Lo — to learn about the effectiveness of indecent exposure as dating strategy.
What’s with all this genital-exposing? Is this some common move we just haven’t heard of?
Actually, several years ago, a guy in a bar tried to pick up Em this way. They had been talking for a while, and when she excused herself, he followed her downstairs to wait for the one unisex restroom to open. While they were waiting, he said, “You know, I’ve always wondered if I was smaller than average. Since you’re an expert, I was wondering if I could get your professional opinion.” And then started to undo his fly.
Huh. Did it work?
Em: No. I literally sprinted in the opposite direction.
So what do you think his strategy was?
Em: I’m sure he didn’t think he was smaller than average. It was just an excuse to whip it out and hope that its impressiveness would leapfrog a couple of stages of seduction process.
But apparently that didn’t work.
It was out of order. There’s certain things a guy has to do to win you over, and it doesn’t matter how attractive his genitals are — it’s not going to obviate the need for necessary seduction techniques. While some things about other people’s bodies are just objectively enjoyable in any situation, certain elements — saliva, or, in this case, genitals — are only appealing in the right context.
— Ben Mathis-Lilley