‘Voice’ Gossip Michael Musto Still Catty, Gay

Cash Cab
Photo: Patrick McMullan

Name: Michael Musto

Age: Between 40 and death

Job: Social arbiter, The Village Voice

Neighborhood: Kips Bay

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Alice Kramden.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
Mama's holiday lasagne with meatballs and ice cream.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Delete spam e-mails.

Where do you get your coffee?
In my kitchen.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
The Times They are A-Changin'. Very Cirque du so Lame.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
Only if they entertain me with a sick joke or limerick.

What's your drink?
Diet Coke. With a wedge of lemon when I'm being extra wild.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
Daily, if Cup-a-Noodles counts as a meal.

What's your favorite medication?
Just a spoonful of Neurontin helps the anxiety go down.

What's hanging above your sofa?
A portrait of Jocelyn Wildenstein. And my ex-boyfriend's head.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
Five cents. I do it myself.

When's bedtime?
Whenever Golden Girls ends.

Brunch: pro or con?
Even I'm too macho for brunch.

What's your thread count?
I don't know, but my SATs were very high.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
I have to go to smaller cities to get recognized as a celebrity.

What's your brand of jeans?
Guess. No, I mean it, come on, guess!

When's the last time you drove a car?
Nevah.

Who should be the next president?
Helen Mirren. No, wait, that's the Oscars.

Times, Post, or Daily News?
The Post. Duh. They have 50 gossip columns.

Yankees or Mets?
I'm not sure what those are. I'm gay.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
Neither 9/11 nor the cost of living drove them away.