We're sure you don't eat Domino's pizza, so we'll fill you in on their newest offering: a thin-crust pie dubbed "Brooklyn Style." And how does a Michigan-based chain promote this ostensibly King's County concoction? With a dedicated Web page — brooklynstylepizza.com — that invites you to "roll your mouse over the neighborhood to see — and hear — all about it." Indeed, passing your cursor over a swarthy cabbie triggers a promotional spiel delivered in a bizarre half-Pakistani, half-Slavic sitcom accent, and, well, you already guessed what happens when you mouse over a black dude, but we'll tell you anyway: He starts rapping. To add a further dash of WTF, Domino's is also raffling off a Checker cab, an artifact that has little specific connection to Brooklyn, and calling for video submissions to show off your YouTube-ready interpretation of "Brooklyn style." Significantly, the winner gets the choice of a trip: the real NYC or the Las Vegas mockup.
So, how will this play out in Brooklyn (the real one, not the Vegas one)?
Is the Pizza Tour about to add new stops? Doubtful. Will people here actually like it? Equally doubtful. We have our own ideas of what Brooklyn-style pizza should and shouldn't be. Granted, a thin crust, dusted with cornmeal on the bottom, is an easy given. There's lots of leeway as far as the toppings are concerned, from fancy house-made fennel sausage at Franny's to fresh anchovies at Grimaldi's. Some things, however, we hardly imagine having anything to do with Brooklyn pizza. Like this, for example: The creator of a true Brooklyn slice, unlike the guy who founded the chain that created this latest version, would probably not be paying for pro-life rallies in Michigan, a Catholics-only town in Florida, or filling GOP's election coffers, where 100 percent of Domino's political contributions flow.
CORRECTION, Nov. 2: Tom Monaghan, the founder of Domino's Pizza and Ave Maria, Fla., no longer owns the company, as this article originally stated.
Domino's Brooklyn Style Pizza [SliceNY]