‘Sex and the City’ Movie to Happen; Cupcake-Seeking Midwestern Women to Further Inundate West Village

Mirabile dictu! The Sex and the City movie is back on track, Star magazine reports today. (Can’t you just smell the traffic snarls already?) And, though we’re frantically buffing our diaphragms and mixing Cosmos in anticipation of Mr. Big’s return, we’re a little concerned that blow jobs–and–bagels thing might have become a little, you know, stale. The whole thing, at this point, just seems so predictable. Here, then, the six plot points we most expect, in decreasing order of likelihood:

1. Mr. Big resumes commitment issues; Carrie’s tearful reunion with Aidan blocked by “stunt baby.”
2. Steve and Miranda hire positive-teen-role-model bi-curious nanny.
3. Charlotte’s Chinese baby arrives; Rosie O’Donnell makes Baby & Me cameo with kids; harmonious multiracial playtime ensues.
4. SJP takes revenge on Kim Cattrall with series of unseemly crotch shots caught when Samantha exits limo with Smith.
5. Candace Bushnell makes cameo; wormhole opens in universe.
6. Large shark jumps over Brooklyn Bridge; ladies look up in alarm.

Sex and the City Movie Back On! [Star Magazine]

‘Sex and the City’ Movie to Happen; Cupcake-Seeking Midwestern Women to Further Inundate West Village