Three Simple Rules for Attempting to Extort Millions From Yoko Ono

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Photo: AP

1. Make sure you have something better on her than a "revealing" nightgown photo and an audiotape on which you and she discuss Brokeback Mountain. (Perhaps a CD of Blueprint for a Sunrise?)

2. When caught, refrain from embarrassing yourself, and repulsing the nation, with a sexual-harassment countercharge.

3. Make sure you're in the United States legally.

Koral Karsan, Ono's would-be blackmailer, violated all three rules, and he now has an Immigration warrant against him in addition to the grand-larceny charge. Even though he raised the $250,000 for bail through friends, he may not be going anywhere (except, that is, his native Turkey). His lawyer, taken aback by the brand-new immigration angle, says he will not be posting the bail until things are straightened out.

More Troubles for Suspect in Ono Case [amNY]