In Case You Haven't Been Screwed Enough By the MTA...

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• Wait, now there's a $3.9 billion surplus?! Just weeks ago, the city was projected to be mere $2 billion in the black. Bloomberg warns that the city's become "very dependent" on transfer taxes from huge real-estate deals. Whatever. We want free cabs for a week. [NYT]
• A "wacky" judge "ranted" "bizarrely" against a death-penalty case on his hands, preferring that the prosecutors shoot for life-in-prison instead. And that's just the news story; you should see the epithets in the editorial. [NYDN]
• Today the massed forces of NYPD will once again do furious battle with the evil swarm otherwise known as hippies on bicycles: Critical Mass is coming to town. Interestingly, Brooklyn cops appeared far more supportive two weeks ago: Officers even rode alongside the cyclists. [amNY]
• The Post's Andrea Peyser, having finally cracked, roams the floors of a Bed, Bath & Beyond waving photos of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Paris Hilton. It's a "social experiment," apparently. [NYP]
• And City Hall is about to, um, roll out official New York City condoms. "Memorable packaging" may include the iconic subway map. Is the mayor getting frisky with the budget surplus already? [AP]