Lindsay Dries Out, or Tries To

Lindsay Lohan checked herself into rehab after passing out in the hallway of a hotel following an all-night drinking binge. Perhaps it’s just the Method: Lindsay plays Dylan Thomas’s boozy wife in a movie out next year written by co-star Sienna Miller’s mom. Ketonah residents are not pleased that Martha Stewart is trying to trademark the name of their village to use for a line of home furnishings. The people behind fictional literary “It” boy JT LeRoy don’t think what they did constitutes a hoax. Bronx native Frank Lombardi was not fired on The Apprentice, and the borough rejoiced.

Hugh Hefner is thinking of having a baby with one of his four girlfriends, despite the fact that he’s 80. David Beckham and Posh Spice may move to Pacific Palisades, for the schools. Derek Jeter was, predictably, seeing a model before he started dating Jessica Biel. Tabloid editors in academia: Bonnie Fuller to speak at Hunter College today, Janice Min next month at Columbia. Sharon Bush, ex-sister-in-law of the president, is getting married on Valentine’s Day to billionaire financier Gerald Tsal Jr. Mary J. Blige and her husband are rumored to have gotten a divorce but are trying to work things out. Paris Hilton didn’t actually perform her new single last night at the Plumm, even though the Daily News said she would. The “faux fur” used in a jacket in Jay-Z’s Rocawear line turned out to be actual raccoon-dog fur, so it was pulled from production. Sienna Miller partied really hard to nail her turn as party girl Edie Sedgwick, and she had fun doing it. Barbara Walters ate salmon at a restaurant with an “older gentleman.” Liz Smith mocks the hairstyle Diane Ross sported on David Letterman.