Not in Kansas

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Photo: Jay L. Clendenin/Polaris


Senator Hillary Clinton's disclosure that The Wizard of Oz was one of her three favorite movies set the week's tone in the Emerald City. Clinton adopted a quiet, "I'll get you, my pretty" strategy versus the Democrats' newfound Glinda, Barack Obama, while pushing her new Technicolor personality via Web chats. Importing courageous subway hero Wesley Autrey to Washington for the State of the Union address didn't help President George W. Bush's popularity or the reception of his Iraq surge plan. Dick Cheney blew up like a twister on Wolf Blitzer when questioned about his impending granddaughter's links to Friends of Dorothy, while Cheney's former Toto, Scooter Libby, told prosecutors he'd been "sacrificed" to save Bush's man behind the curtain, Karl Rove.

Rudy Giuliani took another step over the 2008 rainbow by dropping a house on his investment-banking business. Governor Eliot Spitzer told any Albany politicians who accepted freebies to hit the yellow-brick road. An Upper East Side antiques dealer showed a tin ear for public opinion when he sued four homeless people who had been hanging around his shop for a million dollars. A Staten Island ding-dong allegedly got dead drunk and left her baby home alone. ("It's … unbelievable," said the hack in whose cab the mom passed out as if in a field of poppies. "She was completely ripped.") A Long Island munchkin who'd faked a Mets press pass to meet the great and powerful Piazza was banned from Shea.

Wicked Witch of Westchester Martha Stewart tried to slap the name of her town, Katonah, on everything but ruby slippers; that burg's residents hoped to throw water on the idea. Legendary Giants coach Bill Parcells quit the Cowboys, leading Big Blue fans to click their heels, wishing for a return of the Tuna. And as Army helicopters buzzed downtown for a Will Smith movie, surprised residents rubbed their eyes, wondering if the whole week had just been a dream. —Mark Adams