Seriously, what was that smell? Comedy fodder it may be, but evacuations at Rockefeller Center and Macy's — not to mention PATH closures in the middle of the morning commute — are nobody's idea of a good time. (Nor, can we imagine, is it much good for business.) So wouldn't it be good to know what really happened, to make sure it doesn't happen again? We're no experts, but we think so. And yet a quick perusal of today's news makes it clear: Nobody had an idea when it was happening, and nobody has an idea now. The first assumption, in our city of forever-frayed nerves, was terrorism; that version, no matter how tantalizing to local news teams, got thrown away as soon as the smell failed to sicken anyone. (Terrorists trafficking in minor olfactory nuisances would be something out of early Woody Allen.) Hours later, ConEd deflected all blame and swore that there was no gas or mercaptan leak. Finally, the Department of Environmental Protection "theorized" the smell could have wafted over from New Jersey — which became the Post's accepted, front-page-worthy rationale — but when you can't muster a more forceful sound bite than "It's within the realm of possibility," you may as well admit you have no clue. (Also within the realm of possibility: a Second Avenue subway, victory in Iraq.) In reality — and like with last year's syrup smell — there are no leads to pursue, no actions to take, no lessons to learn. That stinks.
Most Viewed Stories
There Are Pictures of Justin Bieber’s Big Penis on the Internet
The Adventure Time Spinoff Stakes Gets a Premiere Date
Justin Bieber Wants to Sue Everyone Who Published His Dick
The Rocky Horror Picture Show Cast Takes Their 40th-Anniversary Reunion Photo
Bieber’s Dad Being Super-Creepy About Son’s Penis
Days of Our Lives Killed Its Gay Legacy Character
Wait, Prancercise Might Actually Work
The Writer Dating a Woman for the First Time
Demolish This 30-Pound Burrito in One Hour, and You'll Become Part Owner of the Restaurant
The Brutal Economics of Being a Yoga Teacher
Latest News from Daily IntelligencerScores Dead After Bombs Target Turkish Peace Rally
At least 97 people were killed and 400 wounded after unknown assailants targeted a protest in Ankara. It's the deadliest terrorist attack in modern Turkey's history.Just 158 Families Dominate U.S. Presidential Campaign Contributions
And most of the donors are conservative, white, male, and got ultra-wealthy via the finance and energy industries.Brooklyn Real Estate to Manhattan: ‘What's Good?’
As record-breaking sales continue, the borough has become a choice, rather than a priced-out-of-Manhattan necessity — and Queens is rising too.Jacob deGrom Dominates Dodgers in Game 1 Mets Victory
He struck out 13 in seven shutout innings to open the NLDS.North Korea’s Big Scary 70th Birthday Bash
Kim Jun-Un is numero uno!As Obama Heads to Oregon, Two Campus Shootings Happen in Two Different States
Many protesters are waiting to greet the president.JetBlue Opened a Potato Farm at JFK Airport
Back to the land at Terminal 5.Bratton Snatches Joint From Woman on the Street, Throws It in the Sewer
"I thought, “What the hell — 8:30 on Wall Street?'"Was Arne Duncan Secretly Obama’s Boss All Along?
If the president only knew about his administration's terrible education policies!Pizza Rat Has Apparently Started a Cheesy Rodent War in New York
The thirst for delicious and quick Italian has overtaken the rats of our city.
The National Dialogue Quartet of Tunisia protected the democratic process following the country's Arab Spring uprising.Rubio, Not Trump, Is Now the Defining Figure in the GOP Race
He's not the most bombastic candidate, but he's the most talented.7 Easy Ways to Signal That You Have Absolutely No Interest in Becoming House Speaker
First, prepare a look of utter disgust and revulsion (which shouldn't be too hard given the job we're talking about).Fatal Fraternity Shooting at Northern Arizona University
One dead, three injured in the early morning hours.U.S. Reportedly Ending Program That Only Managed to Train ‘Four or Five’ Syrian Rebels
Meanwhile, the conflict in Syria continues.Why Republicans Need Paul Ryan As House Speaker
He's an ideological zealot and a tactical pragmatist.10 Things to Know About the Mets-Dodgers Playoff Series
The action begins tonight in Los Angeles.Can Your Child Be Taught to Defeat a Gunman at Her School?
“The canned food item will give the students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves and will make them feel secure in case an intruder enters the classroom.”Portraits of 9 New York City Carriage Drivers and Their Horses
Why they say it's a tradition worth preserving.How the Media Is Handling Kevin McCarthy’s Rumored Affair
Outside conservative media, mostly with vague innuendo.