Leonardo DiCaprio, Ryan Gosling, and Vince Vaughn cruised the Vanity Fair Oscar party at Morton's solo. (Everyone who is anyone was there.) Except Brad Pitt, who was a no-show at the Oscars despite having starred in Babel and been a producer on The Departed. Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard are leaving the West Village for Brooklyn because of the paparazzi. Meanwhile, in Brooklyn, Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams are fighting. Oprah says that Barack Obama didn't start the Clinton-Geffen feud. Zero-star Kobe Club owner Jeffrey Chodorow has banned Frank Bruni from all 29 of his restaurants. At $70,000, a private soccer lesson with David Beckham was the lowest winning bid at Elton John's Oscar-night AIDS benefit. Natalie Portman left an Oscars party with Gael García Bernal.
Academy Award presenters can drive their SUVs guilt-free this year after getting a voucher for 100,000 pounds of greenhouse gas reduction in their gift bags. A gossip columnist gets sent to Iraq for wrongly accusing a star of cheating on his wife in an upcoming book Last One In. Steven Soderbergh was rejected as a juror in an upcoming statutory-rape case because he said he was busy editing Ocean's 13. Josh Hartnett acted chivalrous at a bar on the Lower East Side. Tom Hanks, Paul Giamatti, and Laura Linney are all at work on an HBO miniseries about John and Abigail Adams. Paris Hilton has a stripper pole in her living room. Trudie Styler had a lot of trouble making A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints on account of Hollywood yes-men. CBS News producer Alan Weisman was granted "extraordinary access" to war hawk Richard Perle to write a book about him. FYI: Jack Nicholson's head was shaved Sunday night as part of an upcoming movie in which he plays a terminally ill cancer patient. The Van Halen reunion tour, slated for this summer, is no more.