Anderson, Celebutante

Fox News compares Anderson Cooper to Paris Hilton, and CNN isn't happy. (Which we imagine was the point.) Steve Madden will underwrite Fashion Week's Designers for Darfur even though IMG backed out. Hillary Clinton is trying to infuse her campaign with some stand-up comedy. Jeremy Piven jokes that he'd like to settle down with a girlfriend if he weren't "gayer than Liberace in 1972." Parsons fashion chairman Tim Gunn to become chief creative officer of Liz Claiborne (but still do Project Runway). Bill Clinton will not be the next president of Harvard.

Ben Widdicombe continues to have the best blind items in town: Which Hollywood princess and sometime star stunned guests at her apartment when she passed a meth pipe after a dinner party? Jim Carrey is not the easiest actor to work with. Jason Giambi had some plumbing problems at his Upper East Side apartment. Actress Paula Garcés talked about wanting to be in "Page Six," which got her in "Page Six." Sienna Miller denies having had sex on camera with Hayden Christensen during the filming of Factory Girl. Kevin Federline still associates with members of Britney's entourage. Whether or not you will be able to listen to live music in East Hampton restaurants will be decided tomorrow. Jay-Z will be paid $3 million to become the new face of Cherry Coke. Drew Barrymore sucked face with a twentysomething. Mets first-baseman Carlos Delgado, shockingly, didn't know who Cindy Adams was. Liz Smith's "bit of the Internet's hot skinny" is that people read politico.com. Bob Saget's dad died.