"Clothing required on your left, clothing optional on your right," greeted the usher for the Naked Comedy Showcase at the PIT over the weekend. One middle-aged woman shimmied out of her skirt (and everything else) to the tune of "Hey Ya!" with about as much fanfare as someone getting ready for a shower, which provoked not whistles but rather indifference. Host Andy Ofiesh, a pudgy redhead who notes that "my penis is fun size; you can fit the whole thing your mouth," introduced Tommy D., who's proud of his copious body hair and man boobs, and had his cell phone tucked into his white socks and sneakers. He read poetry while a tiny bead of a mysterious white substance dripped off his balls onto the ground — the first clue that although this was indeed naked, it wouldn't necessarily inspire hooking up after the show.
The hotness factor was upped, though, by Mopsy the Clown, who was certainly the sexiest of the bunch (and also the only woman). With an orange-yarn wig and big red dots on both sets of cheeks, she silently mugged for the crowd, tickling herself with a purple feather that resulted in a mock-orgasm. The crowd, meantime, was composed of size queens who made no bones about assessing the comics' physical assets, yelling out their approval when a particular well-endowed fellow took the stage. The whole thing was more laughs than last, and it kept people entertained. (Although unless you're a die-hard nudist, once is probably enough.) The audience's big lesson of the night: If you want to bare your birthday suit, too, bring a towel. —Rachel Kramer Bussel