Look up "inevitable" in any online dictionary, and you'll now find a link to the newly overhauled Park Slope Parents Website, parkslopeparents.org, a just-gussied-up HTML outgrowth of the popular listserv and "The Ultimate Destination for Those Rockin' the Brooklyn Bugaboo." (Actually, the real tagline is "Your resource for raising children in Park Slope, Brooklyn," but you can consider this our official entry.) So what does online child-rearing in an overpriced, overfetishized sector of an outer borough entail? We went to the "Sneak Peek Week" site to find out.
At first, we were both lulled by a bunch of talcum-scented, yawn-worthy items: listings of local nannies and party venues, belly-cast debates (it's apparently "artistic expression," and don't ask more than that), and constipation ("poop on getting the poop out). But then we began to realize that, underneath the site's cheery façade — its senior developer is nicknamed "Chucky Bear" — there's a dark side to Brooklyn's Valhalla. Under the headline "Congratulations! You're pregnant! Now what," there's a listing for your friendly neighborhood abortion provider (their words, not ours!) and under parenting tips, we've got "Help with sleeping, eating and getting through life's transitions such as moving, potty training and death." (Okay, italics ours.) Then there's this, which requires no further comment. Yeesh — what we'd give for those simple days of anguished e-mails about Christians and latex.