‘Times’ Couplets: Urban Cowboys

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Wherein we arrange headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.


Man Is Convicted of Attempted Murder as Hate Crime in Village Rampage

Athlete and a ‘Cultured’ Tarzan
Savior of a Crumbling Village, Dies.

’The Rats Will Not Win,’ Chief Varmint Hunter Vows
Hunting a Killer as the Age of Aquarius Dies.

In the Shootout, Two Stars, One Goal
More Than Just Two Ex-Cowboys

Hitting the Road for Some Hot Man-on-Bike Action,
Exploring Identity as a Problematic Condition.

Deconstructing the Costs, and Emotions, of Warfare
Everything Crumbles Toward Eternities

The Big Meltdown
A Suddenly Convenient Truth.

Imagine More Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here.
As Night Falls, Farmer Trades His Tractor for the Blues. —Lizzie Skurnick