Larry King Won't Take Your Calls Tonight

"50 Years in Broadcasting" party. Four Seasons Restaurant, 99 E. 52nd St., nr. Park Ave., 6:30 p.m. The guest of honor is Mr. Larry King, who has been around so long that the first person to make a joke about his age also invented agriculture. Har … har … har! Expected guests include Christiane Amanpour, Anderson Cooper, Lou Dobbs, and King Nebuchadnezzar II of Babylonia.

Cocktail party for Patrick Demarchelier. Gramercy Park Hotel, 2 Lexington Ave., nr. 21st St., 8 p.m. Guests expected to fête the fashion photographer include Uma Thurman, Sam Rockwell, Harvey Weinstein, Jane Rosenthal, Mariska Hargitay, and Piper Perabo. It's funny to us that Piper Perabo, star of the execrable film Coyote Ugly, lives downtown near Coyote Ugly. It must be depressing to have to walk by the manifestation of a mistake you made seven years ago. That's why we didn't name our illegitimate child T.G.I. Friday's.

City Harvest Practical Magic Ball. Cipriani, 110 E. 42nd St., nr. Vanderbilt Ave., 6:30 p.m. Guests are expected to include Susan Lucci, Bebe Neuwirth, and Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer. Are Scott Stringer and Susan Lucci secretly married? Tonight's probably the only opportunity you'll ever have to ask them both in person!

Or check out our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York's culture editors.