• Can-Do Awards dinner. Pier 60, West Side Hwy. nr. 23rd St., 6 p.m. The folks at the Food Bank of New York have hit the big time with this fund-raiser, which will be hosted by Bill Clinton in honor of the Edge and Jimmy Fallon, with expected guests Michael Stipe, Julianne Moore, Josh Harnett, Mario Batali, Stanley Tucci, Christy Turlington, Patti Smith, Steve Bing, Mike D, and more. Including, per the press release, “other members of U2.” Since Bono, Adam Clayton, and Larry Mullen are all probably notable enough to mention by name in a list that includes Steve Bing, this can only mean that a first-come, first-served door policy applies to non-Edge members of U2 tonight.
• We Are Family gala. Hammerstein Ballroom, 311 W. 34th St., nr. Eighth Ave., 6 p.m. Notably, this gala will feature musical performances by Paul Simon AND Chic (“Le Freak”), delighting utterly non-overlapping portions of the audience.
• Free Arts NYC auction. 450 W. 15th St., nr. Ninth Ave., 6 p.m. Scarlett Johansson and Liv Tyler co-host, with expected guests including Mariska Hargitay, Amy Sacco, and Vera Wang. Hey, was any of the Scarlett-hosted SNL this weekend worth YouTubing? Please inform.
• Our Time Theatre gala. Skirball Center for the Performing Arts, 566 La Guardia Pl., nr. W. 3rd St., 7 p.m. Promised attendees: Paul Rudd, Michael Cerveris, Ron Rifkin, Lewis Black, Rob Riggle, John Oliver, Dan Bakkedahl, and a load of other theater-comedy pros; if your cocktail-party anecdotes get big laughs in this crowd, it might actually be time to quit your day job.
Or check out our Agenda listings for tonight, selected by New York’s culture editors.