But Does Jerry Like Laura Bush’s Corn?

Laura Bush and the First Twins saw Grey Gardens (the twins laughed; mom did not). Paula Abdul was caught on tape sobbing and complaining about her former publicist, Howard Bragman. (She also claimed she doesn’t get drunk or do drugs). Hedge-fund manager Scott Bessent bought the late Pat Kennedy Lawford’s co-op for $12 million. Lindsay Lohan is set to lose hundreds of thousands of dollars in 21st-birthday-party sponsorships because of her DUI arrest. A waiter head-butted a hostess at Alison in Bridgehampton. Mischa Barton called Cisco Adler after being rushed to the hospital for an allergic reaction, much to the dismay of her dad. A bunch of female celebrities, including Gabrielle Union and Erika Christensen, posed naked for a book. Michael Bublé tried hooking up with Emily Blunt at a hotel but failed. Red Eye contributor Rachel Marsden had to be escorted out of Fox News headquarters for “bizarre and erratic behavior.”

A diamond-encrusted platinum skull by Damien Hirst is to go on sale for $99 million. Bonnie Fuller went on a public-access TV show to name paintings for cash prizes. Tracy Morgan was spotted downing vodka shots in Vegas, even though he wears a court-ordered ankle bracelet that monitors his blood alcohol content. Kevin Costner’s daughter is freaked out about dad’s new film. Republican Kelsey Grammer said he may run for Congress in ten years. Camilla Parker-Bowles couldn’t marry Prince Charles in the late sixties because she had lost her virginity at a debutante ball. Gore-happy auteur Eli Roth said he wouldn’t mind torturing Kate Hudson in his next movie. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer had trouble operating an e-ticket machine at Logan Airport. An upcoming Harper’s Bazaar spread features Paris Hilton going to jail.