Hassling Hasselback

Rosie O’Donnell’s chief writer at The View was busted for drawing mustaches on pictures of arch-nemesis Elisabeth Hasselback. Accused D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey wants to publicize more names from her client list, but ABC News says there are no other even remotely noteworthy names on it. David Blaine wants to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. (Please!) Mary-Kate Olsen and Matthew Modine are set to join the cast of Weeds. The maps have been removed from Jodi’s Shortcuts, the semi-famous Hamptons traffic-avoidance routes. Callers trying to reach Sarah Silverman as part of an MTV Movie Awards promo have been accidentally dialing some company in Texas.

Semi-retired French designer Thierry Mugler has gotten into weight-lifting. Jessica Simpson stalked Leonardo DiCaprio at yacht party in Cannes, and it freaked him out. Paula Abdul may have broken her nose throwing something at a glass mirror, not tripping over her dog. Britney Spears and Ryan Phillippe may have hooked up in the bathroom of an L.A. club. At the same L.A. club, Lindsay Lohan had an awkward run-in with a model whom her boyfriend, Calum Best, tried to hook up with. Paul McCartney has repeatedly been invited to appear on American Idol but refused.