The Misshapen Are Party Kids With Day Jobs

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Photo: Amina Akhtar

Species: The Misshapen
Etymology: The Misshapen are ardent followers of pin-thin spinners Leigh, Greg, and Geordon, but they have one fatal flaw: day jobs.
Distinguishing characteristics: Misshapens will always sport at least one terribly cool item. (In the sample at left, it's the overcoat.) But look closely and you’ll notice the perfectly pressed Dockers (a gift from mom, no doubt), and the sweater with a button-up underneath. It's workwear disguised as party gear, and, come 5 p.m., the shirttails rip right out. Misshapens are chameleons, not masters of the craft, but, gosh darn it, they try. Their greatest asset is their hair. In day hours, it remains carefully combed back; as night falls, it is artfully mussed.
Known locales: Don Hill’s, Ruff Club at Annex, skulking around Leigh’s MySpace page hoping to be added as a friend.
Diet: Vodka, Adderall (gotta stay thin, kids)
How to approach: Unlike their idols, the Misshapens have yet to master a cool, cold façade. In fact, they’re as easy to talk to as a puppy dog. Friendly, smiling, pleasant … damn, it’s all a sham!
Endangerment status: Er, are those fifteen minutes up yet? —Amina Akhtar