Jerry Stiller Loves Paris in the Spring

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Hilton's L.A. County Sheriff's Department bookingphoto. Photo: Getty Images

Amid the jokes and the contempt and the million-dollar interview deals and the mental distress of prison, who among us will stand up for poor young Paris Hilton? Jerry Stiller, that's who. A soliloquy on the exquisite difficulties of being Paris, delivered to New York Friday by George Costanza's dad:

I have great sympathy for Paris Hilton. I haven't heard one person in the media who feels sorry for a girl who got caught up in the dazzle. No one has gotten down to the reality that she's suffering in a very real way right now. It's almost like she needs to find herself. She's a great lesson for young people who come out looking for the dazzle, and they're not in touch with what the dazzle's all about. I see those girls at the Chateau Marmont hotel, where I've gone for fifteen years with my wife. When they're out at the pool, they're regular people. They take a dip, get out, and read a magazine. They've very normal, and yet they're in this paradise of old-time actors who once came out here. We're still hanging onto that glow, that thing that makes us something we're not in real life. We want to be stars, but, by God, it's not easy to be a star sometimes. It can be a pain in the ass.


But the thing is, Jerry, she can also be a pain in ours. —Arianne Cohen