Much Has Changed Since 1988, But The Donald Stays the Same


Ivana and Donald on “Princess Trump,” July 4, 1988.Photo: Getty Images

Polish media reported over the weekend — and American outlets enthusiastically passed along — news of a Warsaw man awakening, faculties intact, from a nineteen-year coma. Which is to say, Jan Grzebski slept through the fall of Communism. While this is all nice and cinematic, and some dolts in the press are already digging up Terri Schiavo for the occasion, the real question on our minds is this: What would a New Yorker who fell into a coma in 1988 make of today’s city? Aside from the sadly obvious “Hey, weren’t there two huge —,” we imagine the following queries:

• “Wow, you guys sure like Duane Reade.”
• “Cuomo’s kid is the A.G.? Well, if George Bush’s no-good son can be president …”
• “What do you mean you live on Avenue B? You’re a doctor!”
• “I don’t know what an ESPN Zone is, but it’s in Times Square, and it sounds dangerous.”
• “Bloomberg? The guy with the two-screen gizmo?”
• “Well, at least the fashion hasn’t changed.”

Polish Man Wakes From 19-Year Coma [AP via AOL News]