Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek at what your friends and neighbors are doing behind doors left slightly ajar. Today, the Potential Future Sex Worker: female, 24, Sheepshead Bay, sales administrator, straight.
9:00 a.m.: Woke up extremely horny, but unfortunately I can’t get laid because my boyfriend went upstate for the weekend.
1:20 p.m.: I see a girl with her boyfriend walking hand in hand and laughing. I get extremely jealous. I start to wonder if I can really make it the whole weekend without getting any.
3:15 p.m.: I call my boyfriend because I just can’t take it anymore and I’m willing to settle for phone sex. I get his voice mail.
5:30 p.m.: Boyfriend calls me back, but he’s at his grandparents’ house. The phone-sex idea is a huge bust, and I now realize just how long this weekend is going to be.
8:30 a.m.: Woke up ridiculously horny, yet again. This time I refuse to masturbate because I want to save all that energy for when I see my boyfriend later.
6:00 p.m.: I’m starting to think I want to become a phone-sex operator again, which used to be my job. Not sure if it’s because I actually want to be a phone-sex operator or because I haven’t gotten any all weekend and I just need some excitement.
8:00 p.m.: My boyfriend calls to tell me he’s home and wants me to go to his house. As much as I want to be fucked, I refuse to go over because he neglected to come pick me up as planned.
8:05 p.m.: I expect him to call me back and tell me he’s on his way to come and get me, but apparently he’s not as horny as I am. I’m starting to REALLY regret not masturbating.
11:15 a.m.: I decide I’m finally going to quit my job and work as a sex-appeal coach. Although I don’t actually have a new job, I’m convinced that my interview tomorrow is going to go fabulously, so I tell my boss that I quit.
6:00 p.m. Go out with a few people from work to celebrate, and of course things turn sexual when I start to tell everyone my plans to go back into the sexy biz.
10:00 p.m.: I’m unbelievably horny and unable to take it anymore. I call my boyfriend to let him know I’m coming over and tell him to be ready to fuck.
11:00 p.m.: On the train, I’m wondering why people say alcohol is a depressant because I’m feeling hella good and looking forward to finally getting to fuck my boyfriend.
12:25 a.m.: We fuck. After a while of trying to cum, I realize why having sex after you drink sucks! I can’t get off, but I enjoy fucking him anyway, and I go to sleep very, very happy.
4:10 a.m.: Before my boyfriend goes to work, he wakes me up and we fuck again. I’m too tired to cum so I don’t even try.
10:00 a.m.: I wake up and start to rethink my aspirations of being a full-time sex-biz queen.
2:30 p.m.: I go on two interviews and have two offers: I can either be a sex coach or work in a non-sex publishing firm. I decide to take the publishing job, telling myself that I could always quit and work in the sexy biz then.
5:15 p.m.: I’m on the train and notice an old man staring at my tits. I think about teasing this obvious perv, but I’m not really in the mood so I close my jacket instead.
9:00 p.m.: Head over to my boyfriend’s house to celebrate the new job and to fuck, but when I get there we’re both so exhausted, we snuggle instead.
8:00 a.m.: I can’t sleep. After lying in bed for a bit, I decide to get my boyfriend hard again and this time I get on top and ride him. I finally cum, thank God, and I end up sleeping like a baby till noon.
1:15 p.m.: Boyfriend begs me for anal but I’m hungry and not in the mood so I suggest lunch instead.
4:00 p.m.: I decide to look for adult gigs on Craigslist. I only see bullshit escort jobs, and I finally feel happy that I took the publishing job.
6:30 p.m.: I’m on the train going to my boyfriend’s house when some guy propositions me for sex. I tell him I have a boyfriend and expect him to leave me alone. He goes on and on about how he’ll ‘treat me right,’ so I pretend that it’s my stop and get off and wait for another train.
7:30p.m.: My boyfriend and I get drunk and go see 300. He tries to feel me up in the theater. I wonder why people think chiseled bodies are sexy.
10:00 p.m.: When the movie ends I think we’re gonna go home and fuck, but we of course fight instead and I go to bed pissed and horny.
4:30 a.m.: My boyfriend wakes up and tries to get me in the mood. I push him away and roll over.
8:00 a.m.: I wake up and get ready for my first day at work. I purposely try to not wear something provocative because I’m sick of people on the street/train bothering me. And then I get really pissed that I have to alter my attire in order to feel comfortable.
2:00 p.m.: Sooo bored at work. I consider calling up those foot-fetish party ads on Craigslist to make some extra money tomorrow, but I’m unfortunately really busy this weekend so I decide to call next week instead.
8:20 p.m.: I pick up the Village Voice and read “Savage Love.” The topic this week was how women apparently have low libidos. WTF??
11:15 p.m.: I’m still thinking of the “Savage Love” article. I’m kinda starting to overreact and panic over the thought that I may one day pass over sex for Doritos. I vow to never turn my boyfriend down for sex.
6:10 a.m.: My boyfriend woke up late for work and is taking the time to find matching socks and clean boxers. I wonder if he’s cheating on me.
10:45 a.m.: Still thinking about my boyfriend possibly cheating on me and how I now kinda wish I did fuck everyone from my last job.
4:40 p.m.: I’m ridiculously bored at work again and text my boyfriend asking him if he would let me be a whore so I don’t have to work in an office anymore. He doesn’t seem to be thrilled at the idea so I let it go.
6:00 p.m.: I call my boyfriend when I get out of work and we talk more about my being-a-whore idea. He laughs and tells me that I could never have sex for money, and as much as I hate to admit it, he’s right.
Total: Three acts of intercourse, one sexual proposition.