‘Times’ Couplets: Nobody Mention the Elephant in the Room

Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.

Tough Time Ahead for President

New War Czar Wins Praise, but White House Is Faulted
Lack of Access to Polling Places,

For ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ Split on Party Lines,
It’s Subpoena Time!

Lies, Sighs and Politics
Victory, Defeat, Reality 

Part Coach, Part Motivator and 100 Percent Welcomed:
Waiting for Al Gore.

They Always Come Out Ahead; Bet on It?
Let’s Twist Again, Dude, as the Screws Turn.