Hell No, He Won't Go

• A Bronx soldier and his wife have been charged with conspiracy, among other things, for allegedly getting a hit man to shoot him in the leg so he'd avoid another tour in Iraq. The wife did the actual hiring. [NYDN]
• Miss New Jersey is off the hook after her blackmail pictures, an utterly innocuous batch of clothed party posing, came out; the same hypocritical prudes that judged her swimsuit have "closely examined and debated the photos during a tension-filled meeting" and deemed them okay. [NYP]
• Ballsy PR gimmicks, part one: Piaggio, the U.S. importer of Vespa scooters, paid for two months of free Vespa parking at 48 spaces throughout Manhattan. Until September 30, scooter owners are the most privileged drivers in the city. [NYT]
• Ballsy PR gimmicks, part two: Producers of My First Time, an Off Broadway play, are letting virgins in free. Should you decide to take advantage, a hypnotist working the line determines if you're telling the truth — although a Broadway-show T-shirt should probably suffice. [AP via Newsday]
• And, the "beloved" Magnolia Bakery has reopened after a brief closure — or, as West Villagers who remember life before their neighborhood became a Sex and the City candy land would call it, respite. [amNY]