Breaking: Lohans Not Best Parents

Lindsay Lohan’s bodyguard claims Dina and Michael weren’t the best parents. Maria Bartiromo pissed off PETA by posing in a Michael Kors coat with fox-fur cuffs. The Box smelled like burnt hair for two hours after a patron’s hair caught on fire. Jay McCarroll’s friend says he has an Upper West Side apartment, contrary to what the designer told New York. Katie Couric belted out “Sweet Caroline” at a piano bar in Nantucket. Harvey Weinstein picked Clint Eastwood to compose the score for John Cusack’s new movie. City comptroller Bill Thompson says he was able to buy an apartment in Brooklyn shortly after graduating college in 1974, but his daughter couldn’t even afford to rent one. Chris Noth will be in the Sex and the City movie.

Kirk Kerkorian is unhappy with the parenting job that Steven Bing has done with the daughter he has with Kerkorian’s girlfriend. Paul McCartney and Heather Mills still hate each other but may go on a family-bonding “mission” for the sake of their daughter. Portfolio is looking for funny people to do Webcasts for its site. Mischa Barton now has red hair, and she says The O.C. was called The Lonely Heart in Russia. Amy Winehouse was admitted to a hospital in London for “exhaustion.” K-Fed is filing for custody of his two kids with Britney Spears because he’s worried she’s exposing them to “unnecessary risk.” Orlando Bloom is building an ecofriendly house outside London.