Some Lower East Siders are trying to get the Box closed because it's more a nightclub and less the "cultural institution" its owners promised it would be. (And also, we presume, because it's utterly insufferable.) At the age of 50, Kelly Klein, ex of Calvin, is finally having a baby. Hillary Clinton raised $500,000 at a fund-raiser at Ted Danson's house on Martha's Vineyard. The beach is eroding in front of Tina Brown and Harry Evans's place in Quogue. John McEnroe is in talks with Larry Ellison to establish a tennis training center in Flushing Meadows. Andy Roddick had stage fright when asked to say a few words at a party in his honor at Tenjune. A bunch of guests got lost en route to Donna Karan's house in East Hampton. Tom Petty played two gigs in the Hamptons for $1.7 million. (Paul McCartney and Renée Zellweger were there.) Patrick Ewing and Alonzo Mourning looked for the entrance to La Esquina.
New York Ranger Sean Avery unsuccessfully hit on Paris Hilton at Amy Sacco's house in Malibu. A new book alleges that Siegfried and Roy smuggled jewelry in animal cages, flew to South America to meet young boys, and buried an elephant under a housing development. Joe Francis hired Roy Black, who was William Kennedy Smith's lawyer. Rapper Jerome Almon has subpoenaed Oprah, Jay-Z, and other stars to testify in a $900 million discrimination suit against the government of Canada. Brad Pitt designed a half-million-dollar, canary-yellow diamond necklace for Angelina Jolie. Fox scrapped a "Newsmakers of the Year" category at its Teen Choice Awards after nominees Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton declined to show up. Ashanti refused to be photographed at a hotel opening in San Diego because she gained too much weight. Mariah Carey says she doesn't own much art because everything she likes is too expensive.