Here’s … Billy?

Billy Crystal is looking to take over a late-night talk show. Jimmy Fallon proposed to longtime girlfriend Nancy Juvonen. Brett Ratner won’t make as much money from Rush Hour 3 as he could have because it didn’t meet expectations at the box office. A White House staffer didn’t recognize David Beckham and asked if he was a friend or relative of the president. Val Kilmer dropped out of playing Adolph Hitler in Hebrew Hammer 2 because he was either scared or too bloated. Staffers at now-defunct Green Stone Media are complaining that the site won’t file for bankruptcy because founders Jane Fonda and Gloria Steinem don’t want to be embarrassed.

Paris and Nicky Hilton are looking to score a $500,000 payday for hosting a multiple-day New Year’s Eve party at a Vegas club. Heidi Klum says she can’t act because she’s too happy. Sienna Miller is secretly dating Edge of Love co-star Matthew Rhys. Kim Kardashian says she didn’t get a butt implant, she’s just Armenian. Greg Norman’s ex-wife claimed he’s trying to force her into signing a divorce by completely cutting her off financially. Jessica Alba ex Cash Warren hit on Emily Rossum. L.A. Reid is angry because his partner bought a company Reid didn’t want him to. Christina Aguilera won’t say she’s pregnant, but she looks it. Britney Spears is planning a “surprise” performance at the MTV Video Music Awards.