Reading today's coverage of the Republican straw poll at the Iowa State Fair yesterday, we were struck by the utter ridiculousness of the system: Voters have to pay to vote, campaigns often pick up the tab for their supporters, Mitt Romney spent the most money, and the winner was — would you believe? — Mitt Romney. We were also struck by Mike Huckabee, the formerly fat former Arkansas governor who somehow impressed the political commentariat by coming in a distant second to Romney, with a whopping 2,587 votes. Thing is, we realized, Mike Huckabee can never become president. He's clearly 24's traitorous, murderous (and perhaps murdered) President Charles Logan. And that dude's First Lady is crazy.