Inspired by the logic behind an article in today's New York Sun, "U.S. Success in Iraq War Could Hurt Democrats: The Petraeus Report Worries Party Analysts," some other things that could hurt Democrats:
1. A kamikaze-unicorn attack, successfully foiled by the Department of Homeland Security.
2. World's oil resources found to spontaneously self-regenerate every 125 years, thanks to foresight and ingenuity of Halliburton and KBR.
3. Fred Thompson saves Abigail Breslin from drowning.
4. Gay marriage erodes the core of morality; Massachusetts descends into bloody anarchy while New Jersey, Connecticut, and Vermont descend into slightly less bloody anarchy.
5. Election-week Volvo recall.
6. The Rapture.