When All Fails, What Else? A Country Song

FINANCE
• The nation's largest mortgage lender, Countrywide Financial, almost out of credit. Oh. No. [NYP]
• Recent hedge-fund woes look far from contained — they've even inspired a country song. [DealBook/NYT]
• Chuck Schumer's bright new plan for taxing private equity: raise taxes on all partnerships, not just big firms like Blackstone. How Democratic. [Reuters via DealBook/NYT]

MEDIA
• Now that Kent Brownridge and Quadrangle finally own Felix Dennis's old lad-mag empire, they've folded Stuff into Maxim, cut a third of the staff, and sent most editors with British passports packing. [NYT, Gawker]
• Ex-Portfolio deputy Jim Impoco may be headed back to the Times. No word on the location of his tail, with respect to his legs. [Gawker]
• Jeffrey Chodorow to donate up to $20K to Conservation International after he bought yesterday's weird Times ad about Frank Bruni. Dude, can we just get some food, please? [NYT]

LAW
• A Quinn Emanuel litigation assistant got fired after he blasted off an e-mail to the entire firm complaining about being treated like a dog. [Above the Law, Above the Law]
• Does the Rutgers player who's suing Don Imus stand much of a chance? Probably not. [Above the Law]
• Repping hedge funds can be extremely lucrative, but it ain't easy. Exhibit A: Veras' $4.4 billion suit against Akin Gump. [Law Blog/WSJ]

FASHION
• Heidi Klum is the new face, er, butt, of Jordache jeans. [FWD]
• Topshop's menswear line, Topman, will be carried at Barneys. Let's hope not by slaves. [DNR]
• In more bizarre celeb-clothing-line news, Macy Gray is designing her own collection. Insane hair not included. [Styledash]