Alex Kuczynski Has a Smart Brother

A drunk Justin Long spilled soup on himself twice at Veselka, and then fell for the old beer as “stain remover” trick. The Observer tried to hire event planner Elli Frank to help throw some upcoming parties, despite the fact that the paper referred to her as a “madam” three years ago. James Frey sold a book (this time a novel) to HarperCollins. John-Michael Kuczynski, brother of plastic surgery maven Alex Kuczynski, wrote a book titled “Conceptual Atomism and the Computional Theory of Mind.” Retired Giant Tiki Barber attended a book party celebrating the memoir “I Dream of Blue,” where coach Tom Coughlin was the butt of some playful ribbing. Knopf editor and Gabriel Garcia Marquez champion Ashbel Green is retiring at the age of 80.

Britney Spears made her first public appearance since bombing at the VMAs when she visited her lawyer to discuss visitation rights for her sons. Photographers were not allowed to take Carmen Electra’s photo at the 2(x)ist fashion show because exclusive rights were sold to the brother of her manager. Eve celebrated her mandatory 45-day stint of sobriety by drinking vodka. A Vegas nightlife impresario has offered to put up $1 million for a winner-take-all boxing match between Kid Rock and Tommy Lee. For reasons unclear, four security guards kicked James Garfunkle (son of Art) out of Bryant Park before the Anna Sui show. Naomi Campbell has pissed off conservationists with her plan to open a five-star hotel in Malindi, a town on the Indian ocean that is a sanctuary for rare turtles. Dina McGreevey claims that ex-hubby Jim lied about his income to avoid paying more taxes, and wants $4,000 (but maybe $56,000) a month as part of their divorce settlement. Blogger Andrew Sullivan married partner Aaron Tone in Provincetown. Peggy Noonan thinks Mitt Romney dresses like “a senior account executive on [the TV show] ‘Mad Men.” Ad man Donny Deutsch told a blond date at the Waverly Inn, “Let’s make out, just make out. I’m a great kisser.”