Bong Hits 4 Everyone

FINANCE
• Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein got a nice little birthday present this morning: The firm reported earnings and somehow managed to increase profit, despite the credit crunch, once again blowing analysts’ expectations out of the water. [DealBreaker]
• The recent influx of women in private equity has led to a new problem at this week’s big conference at the Waldorf. Suddenly, ladies have to wait in line for the bathroom. [Deal Journal/WSJ]
• Fed Chief Ben Bernanke looks more and more like he’s following in Alan Greenspan’s footsteps, but changing economic circumstances may make that not such a great idea. [NYT]

MEDIA
• Ted Turner to his publicist: “I DON'T NEED YOU FOR THAT! YOU'RE JUST AN OLD PUSSY! YOU'RE JUST AN OLD PUSSY! YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE MOTHER HEN. [in falsetto] WE'VE GOTTA DO THIS! WE'VE GOTTA DO THAT! [back to regular voice] THIS IS IMPORTANT! THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT!” [HuffPo]
• The liberation of media continues: After dropping its iTunes contract and briefly working with Amazon, NBC now plans to offer full free-downloads of shows through its Website. [NYT]
• Dan Rather’s bitching finally got him back on CBS for a few seconds last night — just long enough for Katie Couric to report the law suit. [HuffPo]

LAW
• With Bill Lerach and Steven Schulman about to plead guilty, the Justice Department stepped up to indict Melvyn Weiss, the final kingpin in the Milberg Weiss investigation. [NYT]
• Sullivan & Cromwell announced a new bonus plan for senior associates, attempting to up retention by tying some compensation to the firm’s overall performance. [Above the Law]
• Bong Hits 4 Roberts! A few clever students at Syracuse protested the Chief Justice’s address on freedom of speech. [Slate]

FASHION
• Creative director Stefano Pilati was offered the Valentino job, but declined and instead re-signed at YSL. [UK Vogue]
• DKNY Jeans is realllllly trying to win over the European and Asian markets with plans to launch eleven new stores. [WWD]
• Young British designers like Louise Goldin and Marios Schwab have an advantage over Americans, and it's not just 'cause they don't blame them for the war. [NYT]