This week, the Observer shifts scruffy "Transom" reporter Spencer Morgan off the model beat and onto the weighty business of celebustalking children. Morgan dryly documents the discord Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have wrought at their son Maddox's Upper East Side school, the Lycée Français (the principal sent a letter home to families! Some parents scream Angelina and Brad's names to get their attention!). Way at the bottom of the story, we learn from a school source that 5-year-old Maddox's "French is pretty minimal." We also learn that "he's always smiling," except when once asked to bring in a picture of himself, at which point he "started crying." We can't help but think back to something Mary-Kate Olsen told New York after dropping out of NYU. She'd noticed that students in her class were selling stories about her to the tabloids and concluded, “Learning is not fun if you’re not safe.” We'd like for you to ponder that point for a moment, while we go pay off the preschooler who sold us the above photo.