According to the Post, “fiery Romanian” (and Richard Johnson briber) Nello Balan has filed criminal charges against “French artist” Jerome Lucani for allegedly threatening to burn down Nello’s restaurant Summertime during a phone conversation the two had last month. For those who have not been paying attention to this particular tempest in a teapot, Lucani created the celebrity-photo collages for Nello’s boîte as an artist-for-hire. Afterward, when Nello was all braggy about them to people, like, ‘the Frenchman was merely the conduit with which I executed my vision,’ Lucani’s artistic soul was wounded, and he confronted Nello, whom he says threatened him. “[Nello] began screaming at me with his hand on my chest, ‘I’ll kill you, I’ll fucking kill you, you don’t know what I can do to you!’” Lucani told the paper last week. Now, apparently, Lucani is planning to file an order of protection against Nello, whom he says, threatened to kill him. “At this point, I am getting more and more scared,” Lucani told the Post. You know, zee Womanians, they all have zee guns!