Hillary Clinton Is the Undecider

Last night we flipped on MSNBC, hoping to unwind with a little To Catch a Predator, but alas, the presidential debates were in full swing. We sure tuned in at the right time, though: Hillary Clinton, known for being the most well-rehearsed and cautious Democratic candidate, turned positively Rumsfeldian. She adamantly refused to answer “hypotheticals” — basically anything about what she would do as president. She dodged all difficult, potentially controversial questions through the rote repetition of universally agreed-upon generalizations (Hillary is for fiscal responsibility and fighting terrorism, in case you were wondering). But it was when she refused to answer a question about baseball that her reticence became truly absurd. When Clinton, a Chicago native, was pressed by host Tim Russert on who she would root for in a Yankees vs. Cubs World Series, she hedged her bets: "Well, I would probably have to alternate sides," she said. Jeez, lady. At least Bill knew he preferred briefs. Bush’s “The Decider” persona may suck, but Hillary’s “Undecider” routine is getting just as tired. —Dan Amira