Renée Zellweger, Not on Fire

Renée Zellweger’s neighbor called the FDNY on her because she had a fire going in her fireplace. Jennifer Lopez and her mom don’t talk anymore, perhaps because of Marc Anthony. Mary-Louise Parker took her adopted (and Brat Pitt–approved) African baby to a doctor’s appointment in New York. Blackstone chairman Steven Schwarzman’s charitable foundation has only $63,424 in assets and is holding just $991 for charitable purposes. Kelly Klein is expected to make $3 million by selling jewels ex-hubby Calvin bought her for $200,000 in 1987. Kanye West went to Blue Ribbon with a leather-clad dominatrix and some models. George Clooney was jokingly slapped by “a really hot girl” at Bungalow 8’s New York branch. Kim Kardashian and Terrence Howard were caught making out at Butter and Tenjune.

Some publicists think Dan Rather shouldn’t sue CBS because it’ll remind people of his ignominious firing. (Cindy Adams thinks a settlement is coming.) Joe Francis sent out an e-mail from jail touting his new Website, where he outlines how he ended up in jail. Donald Rumsfeld likes his Taos neighbor Julia Roberts. Amy Sacco has opened up Bungalow 8’s London branch. According to a book, teenagers at New England prep school Milton Academy have sex! Iran president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wants Oliver Stone to interview him in Iran. Al Gore’s Generation Investment Management is looking for office space in New York. A trader is angry that he was uninvited from Trader Monthly’s “30 Under 30” party because his hedge fund is tanking. Sidney Lumet directed a movie based on a script some guy in New Jersey sent him.