Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek at what your friends and neighbors are doing behind doors left slightly ajar. Today, the Self-Lovin’ Midtowner in a Long-Distance Relationship: female, 22, media researcher, Manhattan, straight, in a long-distance relationship.
8:30 a.m.: Woke up late and horny. Resisted the urge to call in sick and spend the whole day masturbating.
11:15 a.m.: Notice my older and married co-workers flirting. Get excited not by them per se, but by the inherent naughtiness of an inter-office affair.
5:30 p.m.: Knowing my long-distance boyfriend will be coming into town in 36 hours, I resist the urge to masturbate.
7 p.m.: I am so frustrated that I get online and look up the Nympho-Girl.com blog. It makes me unbearably hot, and I finally succumb to my masturbation urges.
9 p.m.: I go to my favorite online adult site and order some special toys for my boyfriend’s visit. Express shipping.
8:45 a.m.: The couple in front of me at the bagel stand are intensely groping each other. You can tell that they just had fantastic wake-up sex. I am all at once very annoyed and turned on by them.
2 p.m.: Slow day at the office leads to remembering a particularly hot threesome my boyfriend and I had last summer.
6:30 p.m.: Even though I swore that I wouldn’t masturbate, I am still thinking about that threesome and my hot shower turns into some spectacular solo play.
10:05 p.m.: Track my special-treats package, which includes a new vibrator, lube, and a very intriguing DVD. It looks like it should arrive in time.
10 a.m.: Still horny for my boyfriend, but I am more excited just to hang out with him.
1:45 p.m.: I notice a Tommy Hilfiger model standing in front of me at the tanning salon. Though I am fully committed to my boyfriend, I have some very dirty thoughts about us fooling around in a tanning pod.
6:20 p.m.: Pre-boyfriend bikini wax.
11:30 p.m.: Boyfriend arrives.
11:37 p.m.: Feverish, frantic, and intense sex. I have the best orgasm that I have had in a long time.
7:15 a.m.: Sleeping boyfriend is pressing up against me in his sleep, making me want him very badly. Knowing I have the whole day with him, I decide to let him sleep.
11:20 a.m.: My package of new toys arrives. My boyfriend seems amused and eager to try them out.
2 p.m.: We proceed to watch the new DVD and try out the new vibe.
2:35 p.m.: Mind-blowing sex featuring many different positions.
3:25 p.m.: Another round of mind-blowing sex, this time with me on top dirty-talking to him about our infamous threesome.
5 p.m.: I am so satiated from our afternoon playtime that I can barely think straight. Twice in a day is more than usual for us.
10:30 a.m.: I wake up before my boyfriend. He has an erection so I quickly take advantage of the situation by giving him a wake-up blow job.
10:50 a.m.: Boyfriend reciprocates the wake-up call by giving me some very enjoyable oral sex.
1 p.m.: My roommate (the 24-year-old virgin) gives me a disapproving look as my boyfriend and I emerge from my bedroom for a much-needed snack. Clearly she is jealous.
8 p.m.: After a rooftop picnic, things get interesting with some subtle rooftop sex, obscured by an awning. At one point, when I was on top, I thought I saw someone watching us, but of course that just made it hotter.
11 a.m.: During a long, lazy brunch in Chelsea, all I can think about is getting back into bed with him.
1:45 p.m.: Soft, sweet Sunday sex takes a turn for the more interesting when it turns into a steamy session of mutual masturbation.
8 p.m.: Went to see Knocked Up, which cooled our sexual appetites off considerably.
7 a.m.: A quick bout of good-bye sex before my boyfriend heads off to the airport. It wasn’t awesome, but it was nice to do it one last time.
2:30 p.m.: Bored at work, I daydream about my sexually charged weekend. I credit the long-distance relationship.
4:45 p.m.: Somehow I am still horny so I leave the office early and head home to play with my new toys.
5:45 p.m.: My roommate is out of town so I watch porn on our big-screen TV and masturbate openly in the middle of our living room.
Total: 5 acts of intercourse, 3 acts of masturbation, one act of fellatio, one act of cunnilingus, one order of sexually explicit toys, one tanning-salon fantasy, one glare from sexually frustrated roommate, one potential office affair.