Too Many Hipsters Bring Down L Train Grades

Today, the MTA released its subway report card results for the L Train, which runs from Eighth Avenue across 14th Street and through Brooklyn. The L train received an overall grade of C — nothing to brag about, but still good enough to avoid a note home to your parents. The biggest complaint, overcrowded trains during rush hour, is totally justifiable, unless you happen to enjoy sitting with a stranger’s package three inches from your face. According to the New York Times the L train’s congestion troubles are due to a ridership growth rate in hipster-sanctuaries Williamsburg and Greenpoint, where the population has grown by 20 percent since 2000, double the city average. At least the hipster population is overall abnormally (freakishly) thin — you can easily pack three hipsters into the space of one un-artistic, short-haired, loose-panted person. Were they of normal girth, the L train would really be in trouble. — Dan Amira