Every time dudes we know get down about their male pattern baldness, we point them to Christopher Meloni of Law & Order: SVU. Meloni, one of People's Sexiest Men Alive, wears his baldness with confidence. He carries his bald head high, as though he sees his diminished pate not as a sign of depreciating masculinity, but as further proofof it. Baldness, we imagine he thinks, is the kind of thing that happens to a Real Man, a battle scar from the war that is life. And when we see Meloni do his squinty, angry, muscley, bald thing on L&O — well, our heart just goes pitter-patter. As it did when we ran into him at the Celebrity Charades event the other night. Although, much to our dismay, he did not look nearly as bald in person. In fact his head looked sort of weird. Like it was made of candy. He was quick to assure us. "I am balding!" he said. "I have makeup on because I’m coming from work, but I have a growing ozone hole here." As we imagined, Meloni was comfortable with the aging process. "You know, I actually feel like I’ve gotten better with age," he said. "I’ve kind of grown into it." We think so too! After all, we suggested, it's been said that balding men have more testosterone. "Nuff said," he said gruffly. "As my friend says, grass don’t grow on a busy highway. I’m a deep thinker." Swoon! —Jada Yuan
- 1. 20 Things Worth Knowing About Toronto’s Crack-Smoking Mayor, Rob Ford
- 2. Netflix Adultery Afflicts Half of Relationships, Says Netflix
- 3. In Touch’s ‘Kanye Is Gay’ Story Is Awful
- 4. Could Harvey Weinstein Make History With Three Black Best Actor Oscar Candidates?
- 5. Kim Kardashian’s Tortured, Swollen Feet: A Lament
- 6. Gay Man Fatally Shot in Greenwich Village in Alleged Hate Crime
- 7. Take Vulture’s Arrested Development Superfan Quiz
- 8. Cannes Day 3: Marion Cotillard, Eva Longoria, and an Extraordinary Dress Made of Biscuit Trays
- 9. Beyoncé Really Is Pregnant, Says E!