Jeff Epstein's Lawyers Try to Massage His Sentence

Now that Jeffrey Epstein is expected to plead guilty to soliciting underage prosties, the gagillionaire's legal team is hoping they can somehow get him out of having to register as a sex offender. According to a letter from Epstein's lawyer to the U.S. attorney, unsent but obtained by Page Six, "Doing so will have a profound impact [on Epstein] both immediately and forever after." Um, yeah. Isn't that kind of the point?

Celebrity lawyer Gerald Lefcourt — who's represented Abbie Hoffman, Irv Gotti, and Russell Crowe in his phone-chucking incident — was the author of said letter, so we can sort of guess how "Page Six" ended up with it, but it's kind of hard to imagine why Epstein's people are bothering with this point at all. Epstein's pervtacular mug has been splashed all over newspapers and TV and the Internet. Not to mention, the Post also suggests, he may just be the inspiration for the sleazy trader Jeff Steed in Douglas Stumpf's Confessions of a Wall Street Shoeshine Boy. All of which makes Epstein, like, the most famous sex offender since George Michael! Even if he's not registered, surely they'll be able to recognize him at the American Girl Place.

Epstein Eyes Sex-Rap Relief [NYP]
Jeffrey Epstein: International Money Man of Mystery [NYM]