Like the fat kid whose house is stocked with candy and Wii games or the unpopular girl with the hot older brothers or, you know, Ally Hilfiger, David Carr sometimes feels like people don't love him for who he is but what he can give them. "Sometimes when I go places I feel like a really big deal — but I wonder how big of a deal I’d be if my last name wasn’t New York Times," he says in today's New York Observer's feature about journalists branding themselves. "I’m not addicted to that, but I’m ever mindful. When people are kissing me on both cheeks, one of those cheeks says New York Times." Ummmmm. Seriously, dude? You got the New York Times tattooed on your ass? We hate to be the ones to tell you this, but we don't think that's what Bill Keller meant when he told you to go out there and brand yourself.