Maddox's First Crush: The Apex or Nadir of Celebrity Journalism?

Maddox

Oh, it's all fun now, kid. Just wait until middle school.Photo: WireImage

The inevitable first story about 5-year-old Maddox Jolie-Pitt's love life has arrived, even earlier than we would have expected. This upcoming issue of OK! Magazine will report that on September 25, the Cambodian cherub returned home from school at the Lycée Français, all atwitter with new emotions. “Mad was really excited and talking very fast in French,” a source told the magazine, in direct contradiction to what we've previously heard about Maddox's weak language skills. The girl in question "had brown eyes and wore yellow and navy ribbons in her brown hair." Now that's just creepy, source.

“He saw her in the cafeteria and said her laugh was what drew him to her and that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen,” the source continued (no word on how mom Angelina reacted to this obvious affront). Dad Brad said "he always knew Maddox would be a ladies’ man and that his dad must be rubbing off on him." The OK! source said that Pitt "gave Maddox a little man-to-man advice on how to get the girl." We presume that involved something along the lines of: "Fake an interest in charity and exotic travel. Also, it helps if you're already married when you meet her." Wow, as Brad said earlier this week, this coverage of their family is definitely getting out of hand. Maddox has an elementary-school crush? This is news, people? We don't even know anything about this girl! Are they even in the same grade? Call us when you have Maddox in an elementary-school crush on a cougar, and then we'll talk.

OK! Magazine [Official site]
Earlier: Breaking: Maddox Jolie-Pitt Acts Like a 5-Year-Old