Beware of British Men Bearing 'Staches

Ditmas Park: That bright-red trail of blood at the Newkirk subway station? No worries, just a guy who slashed his hand while playing with a pen knife! [Ditmas Park Blog]
Dumbo: Wow, look at the big fat space on Main Street where performance den Galapagos will go in the wake of its move from Williamsburg. [DumboNYC]
East Village: Who's the dude with the mustache, British accent, and "big soulful brown eyes" who's ripping off small, women-owned boutiques? [Vanishing New York]

Noho: A massive stack of clear, round, orange-lidded Tupperware containers is coming to Great Jones Street. Oh, wait … those are condos? [Curbed]
Ridgewood: State senator Serf Maltese unwittingly did a photo op outside the expanded bakery of Vito Grimaldi, indicted by the Feds as a member of the Bonanno mob family. Oops. [NYDN]
Riverdale: In this tony Bronx enclave, traffic in front of one school is so bad that dads have taken the law into their own (upraised) hands. Go, dads! [Riverdale Press]
Soho: What little American Apparel can't show in photo ads (e.g. full boobs and clitoral masturbation) it will show in illustrated ones. Or is this a fake? [Copyranter]