Hide Your Gold! Merrill Says There's a Crash A-Comin’

FINANCE
• Aleksey Vayner, the man, the legend, is back! The Yalie who taught the world just how Impossible is Nothing wants a job on Wall Street. He even boasts a new, toned-down résumé, which neglects to mention his mad ballroom-dancing skills. [DealBreaker]
• For all his recent failures, Stan O’Neal (with the help of Time Warner chief Richard Parsons) opened the door to a new generation of African-American leaders in the corporate world. But a dearth of black execs in so-called "C-level" positions may make increasing their ranks more difficult. Not to mention, who the hell wants to be C-level? [NYT]
• Here’s Charlie Merrill, cousin to the founder of Merrill Lynch: "There is going to be a major stock market crash, so protect your assets. Buy physical gold and hide it." Thank goodness we don’t live in a nepotocracy. Oh wait… [MarketBeat/WSJ]

MEDIA
• The Hollywood writers’ contract expired last night and the unions are still no closer to reaching an agreement with producers. Michael Winship, president of the East Coast guild, showed off his chops with a quick little metaphor: "This is a little bit like doing jury duty in a bullring." Wha…? No wonder producers don’t want to pony up. [NYT]
• David Zinczenko, the shy and retiring editor of Men’s Health, on his stewardship of the American Magazine Conference: "It really was a grand slam, and asking me what I'd do differently is like asking the Red Sox what they'd do differently after the [World] Series." Jeff Bercovici couldn’t agree more — "low attendance, boring speakers and a lame theme notwithstanding." [WWD, Mixed Media/Portfolio]
• Gawker's book, Conquering All Media, isn't exactly conquering bookstores: It's sold only 242 copies according to Bookscan. [Mixed Media/Portfolio]

LAW
• Bernie Kerik was sued by Texas law firm Fulbright & Jaworski for more than $200,000 in legal fees. Will the former police commissioner of New York have to settle for a public defender when he likely gets indicted once again later this month? [NYT]
• With bonuses rolling in from Cravath, Debevoise, and Simpson, your typical second-year Big Law associate is making more than the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Things that make you go hmmmm. [Law Blog/WSJ]
• Disbarred ex-lawyer Richard Boter pleaded guilty in the class-action probe involving bribes to hospital workers to pick up clients. He’s stuck with one year in prison and $160,000 in fees. [New York Law Journal]

FASHION
•Eric Wilson calls Roberto Cavalli's H&M line "leopard prints for women and pimp wear for men." Meow! [NYT]
• Luxury department stores like Saks have long been frequented by trophy wives, but is the store, like Barneys before it, going to be the next trophy purchase of a Dubai-based investment company? [FT]
•Baby-mama drama? Did Roberto Cavalli drop the P-word about J-Lo. Oh yes he did! [Fashionista]