Fishing in the Gowanus Canal: Yeah, They Do It. What?

Astoria: Boy, Pete Hamill's writer bro Dennis sure loves the park here. Perhaps just a few hundred words more than necessary? [NYDN via Queens Crap]
Bushwick: Horny gay gentrifiers, listen up. That hot local papi you just took home may agree to tie you up … but only to steal your Gucci watch. [NYP via BushwickBK]
Gowanus: They're fishing bluefish out of the toxic Gowanus Canal … and eating them! Ew, that's just naasty! [Gowanus Lounge]

Harlem: The hood is compared to a crime-riddled part of Australia by a lawmaker there. Maybe he needs to have dinner at Sylvia's with Bill O'Reilly. [Geelong Advertiser via Uptown Flavor]
Hell's Kitchen: Does Bloomberg's desire to add up to 20,000 new parking spaces to the Hudson Yards conflict with his congestion-reduction ambitions? Discuss. [NYDN via Streetsblog]
Lower Manhattan: Yet another nineteenth-century temple of early–New York capitalism comes down to make way for a hotel. Shouldn't we honor our lucre-worshipping heritage? [Gothamist]
Marine Park: Hey, did y'all know that they've put a fake version of the Loch Ness Monster in a salt marsh out here in Brooklyn? [Curbed]