Lionel Pincus's $50 Million Duplex, and You

The Pierre
Hello, lover. Photo: Getty Images

There are three powder rooms in venture capitalist Lionel Pincus's fourteen-room duplex in the Pierre, which the Observer reported last week is on the market for $50 million, making it New York's second-most-expensive apartment! And now that Corcoran has the floor plan up on their Website, we can see that it's everything we've ever wanted. Plus, some things we didn't even know we wanted! The amenities are as follows…

(As always to be read in the voice of Robin Leach.) Swishing in from Fifth Avenue, you'll greet your doorman and make your way to your private, marble elevator. Upon arriving at the 30th floor, you'll walk upstairs and survey the contents of your 31 custom closets. What to wear? You decide on a velvet dressing gown and furry slippers. Popping into your sixteen-foot wood-paneled dressing room, you gaze admiringly at your reflection in the windows, beyond which is a full-on view of Central Park. But you can't gaze at the majesty anymore! Because if you do, who will test the softness of the beds in your four master bedrooms (the fifth is occupied by the maid, and the rest of your staff is sequestered in their office, so there's no one to bother you). Lying prone on the fluffy down comforter, you check out your ten-foot ceilings and think about how great you are. But wait — you have to pee. You forgo the three regular-size bathrooms and instead head to one of your two "sumptuous over-sized Master Baths" (not to be confused with your three "Powder Rooms"). Passing by the gym on the way out, you decide you don't need to work out today. Rather, you feel like a drink. You head downstairs and fix yourself a Scotch at the wet bar. You look lazily at your two kitchens, and instead grab a snack from the pantry. Perfect. Now: Where should you sit? Your wood-paneled sitting room, library and media room, and study all have views of Central Park. So do, come to think of it, your dressing room and your bedroom. Is there anything else you would like? If you need anything at all, there are always the services of the five-star Pierre Hotel.

795 Fifth Avenue [Corcoran via NYO]