Separated at Firth?

We were perusing a Journal story this morning, about Ron Burkle’s Yupaica company buying the company that makes Twinkies, when something about the headshot of Burkle that accompanied it struck us as oddly familiar. Our stomachs turned as we realized: Ron Burkle is just like an older, heavier, less doable version of Colin Firth. In a good way we mean! With a nip here, a tuck there, and a little (okay a lot) of liposuction, the presumed owner of Radar could actually become Firth-level hot. We’re not sure what this means for Colin Firth; maybe he better lay off the Twinkies, or Crunchie bars, or whatever, but Ron, honey? Hello? What are you waiting for? Get thee to a plastic surgeon! Reach out and grab what is rightfully yours!