This morning, Wednesday, December 19, 2007, Jennifer Cannon and Doy Nichols of Lexington, Kentucky, were married in the Charmin toilets in Times Square. Well, not in them, near them. The bride was wearing a toilet-paper wedding dress handmade using the Charmin brands Ultra Soft and Ultra Strong, and the groom was wearing a suit hand-knitted exclusively using thread made from the extraordinarily fibrous feces of Charmin bears Amy and Leonard, who also bore witness to the joyous occasion. As Jennifer and Doy pledged their eternal love, friends and family from their hometown expressed their delight by tossing scraps of toilet paper at the happy couple. Then everyone ate cake. Near the toilets. Okay, we were kidding about the poop suit. But the rest is too, too real.