Trust Carroll Gardens, for the Rest of Your Life

Carroll Gardens: Locals are pissed off that Carroll Park is so understaffed that nobody's around to haul away old mattresses. Hey, locals: You could do it. Either that or keep on looking at old mattresses in your park. [Gowanus Lounge]
Greenpoint: Santa was spotted here in a butcher's apron, smoking a cigarette, with his wife nearby, waiting for kielbasa (not Santa's, you perv!). Also, people are fornicating in the shadow of the onion-domed sewage-treatment plant. (In this weather!?) [Newyorkshitty]
Harlem: A real-estate investor just broke the record for a property in the hood by paying $6.6 mil condo at Central Park North. But they may soon be topped by a triplex in the same building, on the block for $8.5 mil, that Esquire just named the "Ultimate Bachelor Pad." [Luxist via Uptown Flavor]

Norwood: So should it be real or fake grass for park redos here and elsewhere in the Bronx? The city says the fake stuff holds up better, but some fear it's carcinogenic. [Norwood News]
Park Slope: Do you think this recent façade renovation of an 1892 townhouse on 14th Street honored the nabe's landmark-district rules? Or perhaps not? [Brownstoner]
Williamsburg: This new attempt by developer Toll Brothers to attract rather than bypass the hood's (ever-decreasing) scruffy set is pretty gag-worthy. Though the generic hipster model is cute. [Curbed]